back to blogging...

thinking im going to start blogging again :) just came about all of a sudden. ive always blogged for myself and to keep a record of our lives and the things that go on...think im going to continue to that. a lil bummed that ive already gotten sooooooooooooo very far behind, but it will be a positive to pick it back up. so very much has happened in the time that i have been gone. now its time to start fresh and continue to document what is my life...our lives.

be back soon...

I plan on coming back to blogging asap. Hopefully in the next day or two...soooooo much has gone on.

first birthday eve...

Tomorrow (well, technically today since it's 12am) is Ziana's 1st birthday!!!! I honestly. can. not. believe. it. At. all. One year ago from this moment I was 5 hours away from going to the hospital to be induced. I was trying to sleep, but all the excitement, anxiety, apprehension, nervousness, joy...was keeping me awake. It was tough to fathom becoming a mom to five, with our youngest at the time being only 14 months old!!
I had NO IDEA if I would be able to do it, but the SECOND she was born it was so incredibly obvious that this sweet little girl was meant to be.
Meant to be our little ray of sunshine. She has brought out such a sweetness in our boys, including wild man Daxton...and her big sister could NOT be more excited to teach her everything and just love the heck out of her!
We have all been so incredibly blessed to have her in our lives this past year. And we look forward to the years to come :)

This is our soon-to-be-birthday princess on the eve of her first birthday: Not exactly how I would want her to feel :( she had been crying and crying all day with a runny nose...well, actually since last friday. I'm pretty sure it's teething. It makes me sad...she just wants to be held, and we are more than happy to oblige, but it's tough not seeing her be her usual self...that RARELY ever cries.
I'm really, really hoping she wakes up tomorrow feeling better and she has a fabulous birthday...she deserves it! We love our little Zee Zee!!!

halloween costumes...

The weather was chilly this year (in the 50's), but thankfully it was not raining as it had been the previous days! Every year we go trick or treating in my parents neighborhood, the neighborhood I grew up in. There definitely weren't no where near as many trick or treaters as there used to be!
Ziana and I walked with them halfway down the block just to get a few pictures and headed back to my parents. My dad had to work...I think it was the first Halloween that he wasn't home to see the kids in their costumes :( I will have to take them over there dressed up so he can see them.
Here they are in the backyard before trick or treating...I almost fell over because when I told them to all stand together for a picture, Daxton marched right over there and stood there looking at me and everything!! WOW!! I know that's never happened before, ha!

Xavier is Commander Fox from Star Wars. He's soooo into Star Wars!

Xandria is a beautiful bride. She did inform me that she plans to never get married, but I'm sure that will change when she gets a little older!

Drakey robot. That's one of my nicknames for him, so we decided why not have him dress up as one for Halloween and surprisingly he was up for it!! I wasn't sure because that boy is INSANELY finicky about what he wears and has a strong opinion about he will and will not wear! He did have one issue...having his shoes spray painted silver! He was quite upset at first because he said those are his favorite shoes, but once he saw them he was pretty excited.
Nick made his costume from the pink foam stuff you see on the outside of houses before they are sided. He put a bunch of little lights on the front with a switch to turn off and on. He did an AWESOME job and the photo doesn't do it justice!

Daxton the devil. Yea, this costume is quite fitting for our little two year old and the antics he seems to come up with!! I definitely have moments where he drives me INSANE, but he is also such a sweet boy and is absolutely adorable as well! He carried around his pitchfork and he actually loved his costume...when I first tried it on at the store he did not want to take it off!

Meeee-oooowww!! Ziana the pretty kitty cat. She was a happy kitty cat...just like she always is!

Look who caught a mouse, ha ha!! She's too cute...I took alot of pictures of her in her costume since it was her first Halloween and also she seemed to really get into her kitty character!

I was really happy with how their costumes turned out especially since they were pretty much last minute! Halloween is absolutely my favorite holiday :-)

how big is zee zee...

Thiiiiiiis BIG!! :-)

one of those weeks...

Or a couple of "those" weeks. Just not feeling myself lately. Crabby. Completely CRABBY!! Bitchy. Irritated. Annoyed. Mad. Frustrated. Overwhelmed. Fat. Sad.
With moments of Happiness. Joy. Laughter. Fun. Excitement.
But mainly all the other crap.
Not completely sure what it's about.
Could have to do with the fact that my best friend since 4th grade came to visit, but had to go back home. I haven't seen her since '03 (CRAZY, I know!!) and since she went home it feels like a piece of me is missing. We had such a BLAST in the short time that she was here!!

It could also be the fact that Mr.Daxton has taken to climbing out of his bed this week repeatedly instead of napping. And if he's not doing that then he's taken off his diaper while in there and smearing the contents all over his bed. UGH!!! And I thought he was over doing that. WRONG!!
I really NEED nap time to happen, especially when Nick hasn't been getting home til later!

It could also be that we've had extremely crappy weather...rain, rain, and more freakin rain (plus COLD), which means we are STUCK in the damn house all. the. time!!
I just wasn't prepared for us to already be stuck in the house...this is my favorite time of year...it's supposed to start getting cool, NOT cold, NOT in the 40's!! It just really sucks and it feels like it's sucking everything out of me.
So let's hope that the rest of the month is all sunshine-y and fall-like. NOT winter!!

Also, my baby girl is turning ONE next MONTH!!! And that has me just a little sad :(
I'm not prepared for it at all! But, I guess I better start planning her party and pick out which cute little outfit she's going to wear and enjoy the "infant" time that she has left!

For now I'm off to make supper since it's one of those nights that Nick's not home til late, but thankfully Daxton DID stay in his bed today WITH his diaper on and took a nap!!! Couldn't of happened on a better day!

soccer...

Drake had his very first soccer game on saturday, September 26. I was pretty nervous about how he would be at his first game. He is very shy and tends to be uncomfortable in new situations, especially when he doesn't know anyone. And that's exactly why I wanted to put him in soccer!
He loves, loves, loves soccer and that seems to be all he does around here...so he was excited to play real soccer! In the spring he was in a soccer class, he enjoyed it but was VERY reserved and it would take lots of coercing to basically get him to even move! By the end of the class he was doing better, but I still didn't have a clue as to how he would be once real soccer started. When that boy doesn't want to something, he is extremely stubborn and it takes a TON of work to get him to even think about changing his mind!!
Ok, back to the soccer...he had his first practice the tuesday before their first game. The kids are supposed to bring their own ball and wear their shin guards. Coach gets all the kids onto the field and they are standing out there, each one waiting for their turn to be up and do a drill. I was watching Drake and noticed that he didn't have his ball. Hmmm...look around and see that another kid has it and is running around with it. It's getting closer to Drake's turn, I holler at him asking him where his ball is, he points to the kid with it. I tell him to have the kid give him his ball back. Drake shrugs his shoulders. It's the kids turn for a drill and sure enough he just uses Drake's ball.
When it's Drake's turn the assistant coach gives him a different ball to use. The other kid is still goofing off with Drake's ball. I'm deciding I just need to go out there...I see Drake wipe his face, which is a sign that he's upset. I walk out to the field and Drake just bursts into tears! I felt sooo bad for him!! I told the kid that he needs his ball back and he hands it to him. I also told Drake to not be upset and he was fine. I was thinking he might not do much while he was out there, especially after that happened, but I was happily surprised to see him be somewhat active and even shout out an "over here!" once.
It's just soo tough with Drake because he's used to his older brother and sister ALWAYS being there for him and helping him out when he is unsure about anything...I just really want him to gain some independence and push himself when he feels awkward or unsure. I will say that he has grown a ton since last year and he's definitely more into trying new things than he was then or even a few months ago! There has for sure been progress :)

Anyway...the first soccer game!! Here's how it started out with Drake: Ha ha! If it's hard to see...there's Drake standing there in the middle of the action with an exasperated look on his face, picking on his fingers (something I guess he inherits from me). If you have ever seen Drake play soccer at home, he is ALL about it and never stops, so this was the complete opposite of how he normally is!!
He did start running around, but for a good while it was mainly in circles :) He did pick it up some and we starting seeing more of this:

In this photo he actually manages to kick his shoe off, Ha! You can see his little socked foot just hanging out:

After just about an hour the game was over. Sadly, Drake's team didn't manage to score even one goal...losing 15-0, but the kids didn't really even notice. He was first in line to give out high fives (though at first he didn't really know what was going on).

He had a blast and couldn't stop talking about the game! I was so so so proud of him and the next game he did even better :)

(click on pics to see them bigger)

renaissance fair '09...

It seems to become a Labor day weekend tradition for us to go to the renaissance fair. I think it's mainly because adults are cheaper and kids are free that weekend :)
We had an absolute blast!! I love just walking around looking at the different costumes and outfits people are wearing...one thing I have learned going there is that anything goes, and I mean ANYTHING, ha!
Xavier and Drake did the sword fighting against each other. There is a height requirement that Drake was tall enough for...the guy said 4 was too young to do it, but let him do it anyway because he really wanted to. And hey, he does have an older brother that he wrestles with and sword fights at home. It was so cute seeing Drake in all the gear he had to wear...little guy could barely get his arm lifted up :)
He was supposed to keep his left arm behind his back, but after a bit it was sneaking up :) They had three rounds and despite the guy making the last balloon on Drake's helmet smaller so it's harder for Xavier to pop, Xavier still managed in the end to win all 3 rounds. It was soo funny to watch!
Daxton is OBSESSED with cows and horses...those two words are constantly coming out of his mouth...so we thought we would put him on a pony for the first time. He was hestitant at first (he likes animals until they are right in his face,lol) and I didn't think he was actually going to stay on it, but after a minute or two he was all about it and having a good time.
We had to buy him a pair of mocassins while we were there. Nick (of course) forgot Daxton's shoes at home (?!) and he couldn't walk around without any.
The older kids were jealous because they said they looked so comfortable.
I'm looking forward to going back next year!

Btw...after the last post I wrote about Daxton and his paci, he no longer uses it!! I think it happened mainly by accident...he had gone to bed that night before I was able to get his paci, so I figured "hey, let's see how it goes" with my fingers crossed and the next day at naptime he didn't cry like he usually would, but he didn't sleep either. And when it was bedtime that night, he went to bed without it again, but awoke in the middle of the night crying and crying. I went in to check on him and after I got back in bed, he was crying again. I was thinking "fine, I will just go give it to him" and when I got up to get it, he stopped. There haven't been any issues since (knock on wood)...I'm soo excited about that!! Next up: potty training!

curly...

is what we like to call Drake because he has this crazy habit of curling his hair around and around his finger. My dad actually started calling him it first. He seems to switch habits every now and again...for awhile he would pick his fingernails, then over the winter he developed this little cough that he would do NONSTOP...and now it's curling the hair with his fingers.

I think it's cute, but sometimes it gets a little crazy (Xandria says its a little tornado on top of his head) and I make him flatten it before we go somewhere :) But usually he continues to do it while we are out anyway. He has lots of little quirks, but they add to the fun of his personality.

favorite part of my day...

or not when I walk in the room and see this!! I went in the boys' room to put some clothes away and decided to check on Daxton sleeping and I find him naked!! Lovely. Especially considering I had just cleaned his bed from the mess he made in it this morning. I love that you can see the diaper and pajama pants tossed on the floor next to his bed. :(
I also love that it shows what he always has to sleep with...his Noah's Ark blanket and stinkin paci (which I'm hoping to get rid of at some point!!). He only has his paci at bedtime, but it still bugs me.
I do love naptime, especially on days like today where we have had to be in the house all day due to rain...it seemed to take nap time FOREVER to come. Does anyone else look forward to nap time??
I have to say that not everyday I look forward to it, in fact some days when it approaches naptime I don't want to put them down.
But not today :)

today is...

Daxton's 2nd birthday!! So far today him and I went and ordered his cake for his party that's on sunday, went to WalMart for cupcakes and a new phone for him and went to the party store to get him "nan-nee!" (which means candy, a sucker specifically) and a balloon.

The boy is GA GA for balloons!! He's also GA GA for purses...yes, PURSES!! Ang was sweet enough to find him a blue purse (it's not a purse, it's a satchel...for those of you that have seen the movie Hangover!) for his birthday and also had put fake money in it, REAL keys on a keychain and a brush/mirror set. He was beyond excited about it!! Daxton pretty much ALWAYS has to have a purse on his arm when we go somewhere...Nick tries to get him to leave it in the car, but nope, that's not happening! It always makes me smile :)

At least now he has a blue purse, though he usually likes to carry at least 2 on his arm at a time, lol! Today I got him to stick with just the one purse when we were out.

We are going to be eating cupcakes, opening presents and heading Chuck E Cheese...so I'm off for now!

my birthday...

My birthday was almost a month ago...I went out with my cousin and a couple other people and had an absolute BLAST!! It was exactly what I had needed! I stumbled in around 1am...Nick was a little surprised to see me like that...I never drink. And they made sure I drank! I was asked at one point how I can have 5 kids and 1 husband and NOT drink...I joked that I was beginning to wonder that myself ;)

The next day (which was my actual birthday) we planned on going to Chicago, but I was too tired and not feeling so hot :) Instead, I opened my presents (Photoshop CS4!!!), ate cake, we ran to the mall for a couple things and ate at Red Robin, came home and I took a much needed nap!
Sunday, is when we went to Chicago. We were going to go to Shedd Aquarium, but we didn't arrive til the afternoon and the city was crazy (there was a bike race going on also)...so we went to Navy Pier. For some reason, Navy Pier has always equaled Chicago to me...love it there!

We saw a "pirate ship" and decided we would go for a ride on that. The kids were all excited to go on the boat...it was an hour ride. The weather was perfect, with a nice breeze blowing. I had a wonderful day!
The ride home wasn't so wonderful though...babies were crying and crying...Ziana continued to cry most of the way home and when we were almost home Xandria was in tears because she had to go to the bathroom sooo bad and couldn't wait any longer...of course this was after Ziana FINALLY stopped crying and fell asleep...Xandria opens the door to get out and guess what happens?? Yep, Ziana woke up! Ugh, I was ecstatic when we did arrive home :)
Look...a family picture!! I love when strangers offer to take a picture of us, makes me happy :)

The "pirate ship" we rode on.

Ziana finally stopped crying and fell asleep in the sling...the girl loves to nap in her bed and it's tough getting her to sleep anywhere else!

Nick took this picture of the kids (minus Daxton that he was holding) while we were on the boat.

Drake freaked me out when he decided to just stand up and walk over to the railing of the boat! There is only those 4 little lines seperating someone from going in the water!

stung...

Poor Daxton! Last week little man was stung 5 TIMES...one being on his eyelid. We were outside playing and I hollered at him to show me how he can go down the slide. Next thing I know I hear him scream like I've never heard before!! I looked up and I see him standing there looking shocked and I see a big black bug flying around...I immediately took off across the yard (the kids later told me that they had never seen me run so fast, ha!) and scooped him up, making sure there was no wasps on him. Took him in the house and pack baking soda on the 3 spots that I see he had been stung at. He was crying and crying, which is not usually like him.
We get outside and I look at him...his eye is swelling and I see a red dot on it, then another one on his other arm! My poor baby!! I tried putting ice on his eye, but he wasn't having any of that and just wanted to carry the ice around.
This is what he looked like a bit after he was stung (it did swell up more than this and he could barely see). He kept saying "eye" over and over: And this is what he looked like the next day:

I felt soooo bad and guilty because the week before Drake had gotten stung by the slide, I just thought it was random, but it turns out there was a nest right under the slide. When Nick got home I had him go out and see where they were coming from and he said that Daxton must of seen the nest and knocked it down...he said the nest was lying on the ground and about 15 wasps were flying over it. Nick got rid of the nest and hopefully we won't see anymore!

I'm waaaay behind in blogging (are you surprised??), the past week for sure has been CRAZY, so I'm HOPING I can get back on track!

I'm working the fair tonight at Heather (our photographer)'s booth...and I'm sooo looking forward to it!! Six hours of quiet for me and I get to do it tomorrow night also :) Right now I definitely need the break!! On that note, baby is crying...

turning 30!!

Tomorrow I turn the BIG 3-0!! And I must say that I am SOOO not ready for it!!! I just can't believe it...doesn't seem real. Honestly, I don't feel much older than 20. Life completely changed for me at 18. I became a MOM!! And that's what I have spent the last almost 12 years of my life doing.
It's been AMAZING and so much fun and it's really, completely changed me...but I STILL don't feel like an ADULT. I used to work, but I still lived with my parents (til 20 when I moved in with Nick)...and when I moved in with Nick he's been the one to take care of everything. Which I'm definitely NOT complaining about...but sometimes I want something for me. Something that I have accomplished, outside of being a mom and a wife...even though being a mom and wife are the two most important things to me.

I'm not sure what it is that I want to do. A couple things that I have thought about are being an ultrasound technician or doing some work with teen moms. I also love photography...though I don't know if I really see myself doing that. I'm just not sure and I'm not sure how to go about doing any of the things I want to do.

Maybe it's just the fact that I need to get out more and do things on my own. I never do...and when I do it feels like a breath of fresh air. My cousin is taking me out tonight to celebrate my birthday and I'm really, really looking forward to it!! Even if all we did was hang out and do nothing, I would be excited :).

I'm pretty low-key and it's tough for me to open up to people. Especially females. I've always had close guy friends and only one or two close girl friends. I've been through alot of crap in the past (and still) and it's always hard to trust girls...there is always too much drama and gossip for me!

A month or so ago I went to a fundraiser...with just myself and a couple friends and I had so much fun...even though it was just bowling! It had been soooo long since I was out without Nick or the kids. It's just always hard for me to break away from my family and do things alone... for no other reason than I want to spend my time being with them.

I know I'm just rambling, but I'm trying to put my thoughts down and maybe come back and figure them out, lol.

I have a couple things coming up that are going to be all about me and I'm super excited to do them! The main thing is taking an online photography class with the fab Maggie Holmes! I love her work and I have been wanting to do this for quite awhile! I can't wait to improve my photography skills and learn to take the photos I want to :)

Anyway, I just want to say that for me, this year and the years ahead are going to be more about me. Learning about me and who I really am and what makes me me. And trying and learning new things. Building better relationships. Having more fun. Stressing alot less about unimportant things. Loving more. Laughing a TON more. And just enjoying every minute that I can :)

And if you see me with bright pink hair, covered in piercings and tattoos...then maybe that's the newfound me that I am. But I don't quite see that happening ;)

i put in my notice...

I'm quitting. Quitting my job. My job as "mom". Or at least I was earlier today.



I came to the conclusion I needed to quit and find a different job. One that didn't involve poop and it being smeared all over the place. One that didn't involve a two day old, dry clean only shower curtain and a handful of poop smashed all over it. One that didn't involve giving a little boy a bath after he woke up when he had just had one RIGHT before he went to bed! One that didn't involve telling kids repeatedly to pick their things up. One that didn't involve feeling like your completely failing at your job.



But if I had a job like that I wouldn't get sloppy kisses. Or crying babies that look for comfort in your picking them up. And give you the biggest smile and giggle when you do something as simple as look at them or say their name.
Or having your poopy little guy (he wasn't poopy at the time though, surpsingly!) climb up onto his baby sister's crib to check in on her and him saying "zee zee!" when he sees her in the crib.
Or a little girl who loves to draw you pictures and when you're in the middle of picking up things and having a horrible moment...you pick up something off the floor, blink away the tears and look to see that it's a handmade heart colored with red marker and written in pencil it says something...it says "i love you".
Or a little boy who when you (jokingly) said you're going to run away last week, he says " I will chase you and catch you and bring you back home and lock you up so you can't get out."
Or an eleven year old boy who (for the most part) has lost the attitude and has been helping you out when you need it WITHOUT complaining or grumbling about it.

There are so many precious, sweet moments that take away all the bad, horrible, brief moments that can happen daily...I savor each one of the good moments and just try to forget, or latter laugh at, the bad ones. It's an amazing journey and I am SO VERY blessed to be able to have this job and I wouldn't trade it for any other...no matter how much it pays...or how quiet it may be!!

On that note...I see (or rather smell) that mr. poopy pants has struck again!

not a very good day...

Today has been one of those days! I stayed up waaaay too late the night before scrapbooking and was NOT ready to start the day!! But I got up and luckily most of the kiddos were still asleep. I had to get ready to get my hair done...I was REALLY looking forward to it! Angela (she watches the kids) was a bit late, so in turn I was running late getting to my hair appointment.

On the way there I was thisclose to being crashed into!! I was going straight through a green light (of course) and this idiot is coming from the other side and pulls out right in front of me!! Luckily, the lane next to me was closed, so I was able to swerve into it without any cars being right there! I honestly thought I was for sure hitting him...it wasn't until he was gone that I realized I had gotten out of the way just in time!! I was shaking like CRAZY!!! I got to my hair appointment and she was running behind, so that was a good thing :) I hate being late to appointments and always feel so guilty when I am!

The afternoon and evening were very looong...instead of taking a nap today, Daxton decided he would somehow get his diaper off and rip it into pieces and throw it all over the floor. Lovely. Thankfully, no poop THIS time...and yes, he had his shorts on ;)

Nick didn't get home until the kids were already bathed and in bed. Bedtime is the WORST part of the day, in my opinion. It drives me a little bit crazy!! So much easier to do with 2 people!!

Anyway, I'm going to go now and relax some watching "Sixteen Candles". One of my FAV movies!! I love all the old Molly Ringwald movies!!

queen of everything...

So, I was at my parents house on sunday just hanging out and talking to my dad. Daxton ran over to the tree stump and was standing on it, I asked him if he was the king. Xandria and my neice Chelsey ran over to the stump and climbed on it...Xandria announced "I'm the QUEEN!!, Queen of EVERYTHING!!". Chelsey announced "I'm the Princess!!". Xandria looked at her and said "no, you're the MAID!". Ha ha!! I couldn't stop laughing. Chelsey kept trying to say she was the princess, but Xandria wasn't having it and she was deemed the maid.
I took this picture of the two of them on sunday...Chelsey is 10 and Xandria is 7 1/2! Xandria went to the dentist 2 weeks ago and had NO cavities again :) She needs to do a better job brushing her tongue and down at the gum line though. The dentist was a little concerned about her top tooth coming in...it looks like it might be coming in behind her bottom two teeth (normally your top teeth overlap your bottom), if that's the case she will have to see an orthodontist. I'm not sure what will have to happen if that's the case, because of course Nick didn't bother to ask! They will see how it is at her next visit. She has the one tooth left in the top front and it drives me a little crazy! I keep asking her if it's lose and she says it only is a little bit...it looks more than a little lose to me, but whatever :)

the 4th...

We had a very low key July 4th! It was the weekend that the older kids stay at my parents...I asked them if they wanted to still stay the night there or go with us to the fireworks. They chose to stay w/my parents...I guess fireworks don't compare to unlimited television and video games, ha! So, we just had the babies. It rained til about 4 or so...that made me glad we didn't have any outside plans! We did some shopping and came home, babies had a little nap and then we went to see the fireworks. We went to the church thats just outside of downtown (where you can best see the fireworks), so we could really only see the ones that were higher up...which was fine for us. Daxton was pointing at them and would say "oh!". He was more into the ones that people were setting off around us...louder sound, ha ha. Ziana was going CRAZY over the fireworks!! She would slap her arms down on whoever was holding her and kick her legs nonstop!! She would also clap her hands :) That's her new thing. She LOVES to clap!! It was nice to have a quiet 4th.
Btw...I know I missed blogging yesterday, after I had JUST said I was going to make sure and blog everyday this week. It's still my plan though :)

let's take a nice picture of Daddy with the babies...or the babies both trying to rip Daddy's hat off. :)

polka dots...

love them!! Even more so when they are on our baby girl :) These photos were taken a few weeks ago...before her first tooth came in (her second tooth has broken through now!). She's getting sooo big, sooo fast!! I'm really far behind on posting...my goal is to post something everyday this week. I'm hoping I will be able to accomplish that! There's sooo many little things that have been going on that I want to put into words for memories sake! We have been enjoying the summer...each week I'm shocked that another week has gone by so quickly, and I'm always left wondering where it went. besides this being an adorable picture of Ziana, I love the fact that you can see Xandria's sparkly pink hi-top that have the rainbow laces that Daddy bought for her, in them :)

new addition...

her name is Truffles and she's a chihuahua. We got her 2 weeks ago this past sunday. Nick and the older kids drove to Freeport to pick her up...they chose her from 2 other female puppies. They picked the cutest and sweetest one :) She is sooo lovable and fun!! The kids are all smitten with her...with the exception of Ziana...Truffles just loves to lick, lick, lick Ziana's face and Ziana isn't about all those puppy kisses, ha ha!